Timers are magic

I’m getting around to blogging quite late in the day today. I’m blaming Branden for that. Because it’s more relaxing than blaming myself, because certainly it’s not more his fault than mine. I just like his company too damn much.

Yesterday, I accidentally read things about Gamer Gate. I have been aware of this... shall we say travesty... since its inception, but I didn’t really know the affect it was having on real people. Then I happened upon this post by Zoë Quinn, and it made me realize that things are really not okay. I don’t feel well-informed enough to really comment on the GG situation specifically, but I want to make it loudly known that I support babes—in gaming, on the internet, and in the world at large. Yes, there are women who could be more civil and less sensitive to guys who neither intend nor actually do any harm. But a minority of rude women does not excuse the vile vitriol that has been spewing forth from the misogynistic underbelly that has spawned from anonymity on the internet.

I think it would be a really good idea for there to be some kind of real-life consequences—or, hell, I’d settle for actual online consequences—for bad behaviours online. You can’t call someone the n-word (nor most other names) in public without some amount of backlash, whether that be getting punched or getting shamed by their friends; the fact that this is not really possible online is a damned shame. The ability to verbally, mentally, and emotionally abuse someone in the context of an online game is undoing decades of work done by marginalized groups to teach children how to be good citizens and good neighbors, and it should not be tolerated by we who know better.

But how do we who know better collect any amount of influence, let alone wield it? It seems like an insurmountable problem. But I would propose immediately quitting any game in which someone calls someone else something that is racially, sexually, sexuality-ly, gender-ly, or identity-ly charged and taking all like-minded players with you. You train animals by refusing to reward their bad behavior with attention or play, and humans can be trained the same way.

But I don’t know anyone who is willing to do that, unfortunately. Even my most civic-minded friends call it the cost of doing business, which is complete BS in my humble opinion.

But I’m not an online gamer, and no one cares what I think. So I should get back to what I do know: how to fumble about scribbling words onto a page.

Today’s word count: 9,185. Translation: I wrote a hair more than 2,000 words on Wednesday, and a hair more than 2,000 words yesterday. When I publish this, I’m getting to work on today’s 2,000 words, and then I take the weekend off.

I am most looking forward to taking the weekend off.

I’ve taken the same approach to my last 4,000 words that I did for NaNoWriMo: set a timer and write as many words as possible. Race myself, essentially. It means I don’t spend a lot of time overthinking my content... which means things happen that I don’t expect. Let’s just say I’m really looking forward to my writers’ group reading the scene in which Cassidy meets BeBé.

Thoughts on online citizenship? Feminism? Writing your writing with no handlebars? Comment below!

New phase of life

Okay, it seems like it's been forever since I had a real, live update. Even the one in February doesn't count. So, here's another life update for the morbidly curious.

I've been on Tysabri for 6 months now, and I've had nothing but good experiences with it—medically, that is. Every single month is an adventure in pincushionhood, on the other hand. But what can you do? It's like one of those silly stupid hypothetical half-drunk questions: "would you rather suffer more MS symptoms ... or get poked with needles for hours, one day a month??" I guess I've learned the answer to that one.

Other things in my life have been greatly affected by my choice in medication. For one, it causes birth defects, so I can't decide to try to have kids until after I'm off it—if I was planning on trying anyway—which, shockingly, scarily, and horrifyingly enough, it seems I may be.

My mother has also wanted to be present for my infusions every month. This hasn't always been possible, but when it is, I absolutely hate it. She gets far more upset about bad pokes than I do, behaves embarrassingly (ie, acting out her parade stories as she's telling them to me... in the infusion room), and, most frustratingly of all, answers questions that nurses ask ME.

(Days Later) Whatever. Moving on.

Branden and I celebrated our 2-year anniversary a bit ago, the last weekend of May. It was very relaxing, romantic, and awesome. On the way home from Denver, we got a call from Branden's mom telling him that his brother Aaron had been sending her disturbing text messages about how she was going to lose a son, and other suicide-sounding messages. Now, Aaron had just spent a week or two down in Pagosa with her, attempting to work for her boyfriend's raft service. He had to go back up to Fort Collins for a parole meeting. On his way up there, his motorcycle broke down. So, he missed his meeting and was stranded in Fort Collins with no money and no place to stay. He had a sort-of girlfriend and his (and Branden's) brother Griffin up there, but for one reason and another he couldn't stay with either of them. Cutting out the details and intervening events, we got ahold of Aaron and offered to fix his bike for him if he would bring it down to Boulder and take it to a mechanic's.

The saga of the motorcycle is long and convoluted, but that isn't the important part of the story, so I'm going to condense it down: we got the motorcycle fixed, a couple of days later it caught on fire while he was driving so he parked it somewhere "temporarily." Then he finds out from the person who actually owns the bike that he is going to report it stolen to get out of paying it off, etc. So, the bike is gone and honestly, I'm relieved.

So, come to find out, Aaron's stay with Deb turned out about as well as his entire childhood with Deb... which is to say, not very well. So he decided not to go back to Pagosa. We offered him room on our couch while he found a job and saved up enough money to get his own place. So, he's been living with us since May 31.

A week or two later, Griffin came down and also started sleeping on our floor, looking for a job.

Condensing again: They're both gainfully employed now, saving money to get their own apartment together in the Boulder area. They both feel like they're getting a new start to life and that the situation in Fort Collins was terribly toxic. It seems that Aaron may actually be getting free of the witch. And, all is good in Conley boys land.

Branden and I lived in the Habitat apartment with them until June 23rd, when we got the keys to our new apartment in the Horizons, where I work. However, ON the 23rd, the day we were supposed to start painting and moving, I woke up with a terrible stomach ache. Branden took me to the hospital, and 12 hours later, they took out my appendix. It basically decommissioned me for the ENTIRE MOVE. This would have been great except that, of course, I spent the whole time feeling frustrated and guilty that I wasn't helping more. I'm still not supposed to lift more than 25-30 pounds for another week or so.

But, we got moved (mostly). We have a few more carloads, and our house is quickly filling up (yikes!), but it looks great. We're starting to feel like real grown-ups, and I don't know how I feel about that. But, it does feel nice to not live in chaos anymore. The Habitat apartment is Griffin and Aaron's until August 9th or so, when they have to be moving into their own place so that we can start cleaning and getting it in order for move-out.

We lived at Habitat for 4 years, so this transition is quite a shock for me. I had forgotten how to move, which seems to be mostly okay because I think I've broken some of the more horrible habits I have about it. I'm going to miss it, but the new place really is vastly more awesome, with better amenities and the whole bit.

Also, my whole repertoire of friends is moving up here. Dan and Carlie and Chris Rossi are already here, Joe and Sarah are moving in this weekend, Steph and Ian will be moving here in August (probably), and there may be a slow trickle of other friends, depending on how taken they are with the place when they come to visit. Shad won't be joining us, unfortunately. That actually makes me sad because we used to hang out a lot, now we probably won't anymore.

I'm not a total convert to the area. I hate Safeway (as compared to King Soopers). I don't like suburbia. It feels ungenuine, because it's all apartment complexes or condo communities, and chain restaurants / retail stores. There're no small, long-established local businesses. No cozy nooks. But the price and location is right, for now. We'll see for the long term.

Well, that's all for now peeps. Talk at you later!

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

That sound? The Bzzzzzzzzz? that's the drone of my life. I'm updating because Hanna told me to. Truly, I have very little to say.

But, I guess I'll do a short update on what I do have to say. First off, bikes.

My first experience with our new bikes was... and adventure. I had ridden my bike around the block a few times to make sure it worked, then Branden rode it from our house to a bus stop, then from the bus stop to my work, all without incident. However, when I got off work and went to ride it back to the bus stop, the rear tire was flat. This was immediately after I got the bike back from the shop for a full tune-up and etc. Turns out, they didn't replace the tubes. Remember, my bike is ancient--that tube could be 12 years old. I have no idea. Anyway, I took it back to the shop and they generously didn't charge me for labor, though I did have to buy the new tube. >_< Now, when I spin my pedals backwards, at all, the chain does one of two things: if it's on the big gear, it hops off the gear an loops around my pedal. If it's on one of the other two gears, the top strand of chain goes slack and gets stuck between the frame and the rear tire. Branden was looking at it and our theories converge: we think that one of two things is the problem. Either my wheel's not on my bike properly, or the gears are attached to my rear wheel wrong, so that the gears can't spin backwards (or even stay still when I'm walking my bike, or just coasting without pedaling, for example). I'm starting to get really frustrated. But I guess the good news is that the bike still works, even if it's got these chain quirks.

Second, everyone moving in. The third new arrival in our apartment complex is moving in this Saturday. Having the first two around these last couple of weeks has been really awesome, and unless there's yicky drama, I anticipate a year of social whoo-hoo. Unfortunately, the possibility for drama will spike considerably for the next two weeks or so, as our third arrival attempts to get one of the first arrivals into bed and fails...

Hopefully, that won't happen. Can't promise anything though.

So, we (Branden, Sarah, Joe, Steph, Ian, Dan, and I) went camping over the 4th of July. We went up to Wyoming to shoot off fireworks. I'm not going to go through it every moment by miserable moment, but I'll list the highlights:

1. Sarah got allergies as bad or worse than Branden's, but usually doesn't have any allergies at all, so didn't know how to handle them. She was miserable all weekend.
   
2. We had an ideal spot to shoot off fireworks: A huge flat rock. However, when we tried to shoot them off on Friday night, some jackass started yelling at us to "take our fireworks home." OMFG, it was the 4th of July for pete's sake. But, we quit so that we wouldn't have the forest service called on us, since we were camping in a national forest.
   
3. After our failed fireworks attempt, most people went to bed, and Joe and Dan stayed up drinking until 6 am. They drank ALL the liquor that was supposed to last 2 nights for 7 people. >_< Then, they started dragging burning sticks around, trying to fight Branden, and grabbing the saw and shouting that they should go saw more firewood, etc stupid crap.
   
4. So, on Saturday, Sarah, Joe, Branden, and Ian took a field trip to Laramie to get more liquor and other things. The field trip that was supposed to last 1 hour actually lasted 3, and left me and Steph completely alone and bored. (Dan slept most of the day.) Though, I did end up talking to Steph about stuff, which was nice. Nonetheless, it was a long, dry 3 hours since all we had to drink was soda, it was 90 degrees out, and we also had no food. Argh.
   
5. So, they returned with some more liquor (but no water >_<!!!!!!) and we had sandwiches. Then everyone but Sarah and Joe went into the tent and took a nap. Sarah and Joe went for a drive. The rest of us decided that we'd vote to go home when they got back, since it had turned out to be a pretty boring trip so far.
   
6. However, when they finally returned, they had a camp table and a few other things that made it seem stupidly selfish to go home after they spent the money, especially since all 7 of us are in dire straights for funds right now and we knew it was an effort to revitalize the trip.
   
7. So, we stayed. Sarah was in a terrible mood and basically refused to have any fun. We went up and shot off the fireworks that were small and didn't make noise, saving the noisemakers for last. However, when we did get to those, the same jerk-off started yelling at us, so we stopped again.
   
8. So, we went into the tent and set up the table to play some card games. It was, as you might imagine, quite crowded, with Sarah asleep on one side and B & my air mattress tipped up on the other. But, grudgingly, I have to say that the game was fun anyway.
   
9. Then we all went to sleep. We woke up the next day, broke camp, and went home (the process of breaking camp took 2 hours, driving 3). Sarah was again in a terrible mood.
   
10. Overall, I'd rather be playing video games.

Other than that, I've gotten back into art in a big way. My biggest problem has always been taking my sketches and making them "finished works," and this is no exception, but I've definitely been working hard. It's been great.

And work's just... work. It's fine, nothing to report.

We're planning an epic Halloween party. I'm not gonna say more than that for the moment, but... it's epic. People should come.

Ok, bye now!